The Wobbit: A Parody by The Harvard Lampoon (English) Paperback Book

Description: The Wobbit by The Harvard Lampoon Synopsis coming soon....... FORMAT Paperback LANGUAGE English CONDITION Brand New Publisher Description From the authors of the New York Times bestselling parody The Hunger Pains, this fresh take on J.R.R. Tolkiens The Hobbit is a hilarious send-up of Middle-earth, publishing just in time for the major motion picture release of The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug.The sequel to the parody of the sequel to the prequel to The Lord of the Rings When Aaron Sorkinshield and his band of Little People embark on a totally feasible quest to reclaim the hoard of Academy Awards stolen from them by the lonely Puff the Magic Dragon, senile wizard Dumbledalf suggests an unlikely and completely unqualified accomplice: Billy Bagboy, an unassuming wobbit dwelling in terrorist-riddled Wobbottabad. Along the way, the company faces Internet trolls, moblins, one really big spider that must be at least an inch and a half wide, and worse. But as they journey from the wonders of Livinwell to the terrors of Jerkwood and beyond, Billy will find that there is more to him than anyone—Tolkien included—ever dreamed. Propelled to his destiny by a series of courageous adventures and indented paragraphs, Billy will set out on the greatest YOLO of all time . . . one that leads deep into the dark caverns hiding a mysterious man named Goldstein, whos just trying to have a nice seder. Author Biography The Harvard Lampoon debuted in February 1876 and is the worlds longest continually published humor magazine. Lampoon alumni include comedians Conan OBrien, Andy Borowitz, Greg Daniels, Jim Downey, Al Jean, and B.J. Novak. Other alums have written for Saturday Night Live, The Simpsons, Futurama, Late Night with David Letterman, Seinfeld, 30 Rock, and dozens of other shows. The Harvard Lampoon is also the author of Nightlight and The Hunger Pains. Visit HarvardLampoon.com. Review "Yes, the rumors are true. I am the Harvard Lampoon." -- J.K. Rowling"This reminds me of The Hobbit." -- J.R.R. Tolkien"I forgive them." -- Jesus Christ"I could see this being a great three-minute animated short." -- Peter Jackson"TL;DR." -- T.S. Eliot"Thanks, Mom. This book has finally bridged the growing gap between us." -- your teenage son"I love the twist ending where it turns out that all along you were reading about sexy people." -- E.L. James"Needs more Jay-Z songs." -- F. Scott Fitzgerald Review Quote "Yes, the rumors are true. I am the Harvard Lampoon." Excerpt from Book The Wobbit I An Unexpected Trilogy In a hole in the ground there was stuck a wobbit. Not a stupid, useless, wet hole that you might dig at the beach because your parents drove all the way out here and your dad said that sandcastle set cost twenty damn dollars so youre just going to have to make holes and youll like it, dammit, nor yet a desperate, useful, dry hole you might dig twenty-eight years later at that same beach because you were just trying to get your dad to respect your career choices and you cant have this on your record just as they were about to move you off of beef-coloring duty at the local Taco Knell. No, this was a wobbit-hole, and that, dear reader, means various things depending on your Google Image SafeSearch preferences.I The hole had a perfectly round door like a doughnut, glazed like a doughnut, with a smaller, half-eaten jelly doughnut stuck in the exact middle. This was meant to replace the doorknob the wobbit had eaten in an unfortunate (but all too common) jelly-donut-doorknob-switcheroo. The door opened onto a tube-shaped hall, which was like an underground bowling lane, inclined and polished at just the right angle so that, having expended all his limited energy opening and/or eating his way through the door, the wobbit could simply roll himself down the hall in a prediabetic stupor and burp-bounce his way into any of the many round doors opening out of it. No going upstairs for the wobbit: bedrooms, bathrooms, pantries, sitting rooms, kitchens, dining rooms, pausing rooms, breakfast nooks, mouthbreathing facilities, lunch-meat storage areas, sweating chambers, cheese lockers, and mirrorless Tempur-Pedic gorging zones--all were on the same floor. "Floors" was, in fact, an utterly meaningless term in Wobbottabad, ever since the city council outlawed stairs for implying an impractical amount of effort and escalators for basically being passive-aggressive stairs. Now, this wobbit was a very stuck wobbit, and his name was Billy Bagboy. The Bagboys had lived in the neighborhood of Wobbottabad for far longer than anyone could remember, while steadfastly retaining the shortest life spans of any of their neighbors. People considered the Bagboys very respectable, not only because they had a rather delightful job where they could take secret bites of everybodys groceries, but also because they were almost completely immobile and, even better, unsurprising. You could tell what a Bagboy would say on any question without the bother of taking the mayo-cake out of his mouth, as the answer was almost invariably, "Yum. Mayo-cake." The mother of our particular wobbit--what is a wobbit? I suppose wobbits need some description at this point, as the very act of you reading this book in printed form shows that you must be nowhere near a viable Wi-Fi network. According to Legend, a particularly chatty man sitting across from me in Starbucks who has a hat that says "BACKWARD" on the front and ironic tattoos of gauges on his earlobes, the wobbits used to be much like us. Then came the wobesity epidemic, so named because wobbits wobble but dont fall down (until they do, then they usually give up and thats pretty much the end of that). Their cankles became canktellas, and their cank Details ISBN1476763674 Author The Harvard Lampoon Short Title WOBBIT Language English ISBN-10 1476763674 ISBN-13 9781476763675 Media Book Format Paperback Year 2013 Publication Date 2013-12-05 DEWEY 817 Subtitle A Parody Country of Publication United States Imprint Gallery Place of Publication New York, NY NZ Release Date 2013-12-05 US Release Date 2013-12-05 UK Release Date 2013-12-05 Pages 176 Publisher Simon & Schuster Audience General AU Release Date 2014-01-06 We've got this At The Nile, if you're looking for it, we've got it. 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